It’s alright hun, you aren’t bothering me. I love trying to help others as much as I can <3
I’m sorry love, that sounds awful :( Do you have any friends that are particularly close to you? If so, try just talking to them one on one and explain to them that it really bothers you when they joke about it. You don’t have to tell them why if you aren’t comfortable with it, but just let them know that it’s insensitive and hurts you. If they really do care, they will respect your simple request. The past is the past though and you can’t change it. I know a lot of people don’t really count that as their first time since it seems to be a common thing that happens sadly. You weren’t stable enough since you were drunk and your perception was skewed but it’s not your fault that happened. Try not to let this get to you or ruin sex when you finally do decide you want to. It’s easier said than done but we all have done things that we regret to some form or another.
Just because you have no one to go with doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go. I usually never have anyone to go with when I go to parties but since he invited you, it seems like he wants to hang out with you there, or at least hang out. Parties are social and a lot of people feel a lot better once they get there.
I need someone to sleep next to. I hate being cold and alone with my thoughts. I need someone to hold me and comfort me and tell me it’s going to be okay when I’m at my worst. I want to fall asleep in someones arms and wake up the same way.
That is seriously a wonderful way of looking at it and I’m glad you realized that. If you did want to do something about acne though there are lots of products you can use if you are feeling insecure, that help clear it more.